'Ze' Process

In most cases my writing is done under pressure, stress, and of course the deadline. I enjoy writing but somehow I always find myself putting it off until I no longer can. So in terms of preparation for my writing, it is usually minimal unless it is a research paper; however, it seems that this is when my best writing finds its way out. Somehow, it is as if when I have no choice but to put the words to the paper it just begins to flow. In the overall scheme, writing is one of my favorite hobbies, but without proper motivation to do so, aside from an occasional journal or dream entry, I never get around to doing so.

Most often when I begin or work on writing a paper I am sitting at a desk of some sort, often away from other people and quiet. Once I start though, in most cases, I turn on some music that is relaxing and unfamiliar or else I will find myself distracted by singing or tapping out the beats. Depending on what it is I am writing, I switch between starting with a draft on paper or just diving straight in on my laptop. Oddly, my result in the quality of material produced switches back and forth between the two. Although, when I do a draft on paper my final draft afterwards seems to come easier after I’ve already written some because I’m able to elaborate more the second time through. One problem I always seem to run into when I start on my laptop though is distractions. Youtube, facebook, and a plethora of other terrible time-wasters always seem to find their way into my screen and side-track me away from my priorities. Maybe as future advice to myself, I should use pen and paper for starters just as hundreds of other brilliant writers have done before my time.

To this point on the road I’ve traveled, I have never had much more of an audience, aside from once, than just simply my English teacher. On that one occasion though, I was almost done with freshman year and was asked to give a speech to the incoming kids for next year. This one in particular I had to really think about what I could say to grab their attention and make them really listen to what I had to say. Like in most cases, I just laid around and drifted into thought for awhile. About my own experiences, about things my friends loved, opportunities I had missed, any sort of wisdom I gained through my one year, and it worked. A few kids even came up to me the next year and thanked me, which I think meant much more to me than anything I had done for them.

When I write drafts, if I do at all, it is usually a few good sentences, a thesis, and random scribbles of ideas in between. Most often once I sit down to write, I write. I try to get it all out of me while it is fresh. Once I try to come back to something my mind set has change most likely a bit and mixes my composition. If along the way I hit a writer’s block, my solutions sometimes vary. Sometimes it is just whatever pops into this mixed up mind of mine but often eating anything does the trick. After I finish I usually print it out to revise physically with a pen rather than on the screen, and I pay attention to the sentence structure, commas, and overall flow of the paper more than anything else.

In my writing process I believe my ability to just sit down and spit it all out is my most effective part. Nonetheless, this part is also something that worries me. I feel as if I may rely on it too much and it could be a bad habit if the assignment is extremely time consuming. I suppose this year I will have to try and kick my procrastination out the door and be on top of my writing, along with all my other classes. Of all the different steps taken through writing a paper I would, with no doubt at all have to say I love proof reading the finished project. The satisfaction you get from reading the words that came from you is an overwhelming one; it gives a huge sense of accomplishment.

Speech Self-Evaluation

At first reaction after my speech I thought, “What did I even just say to these people?” and “Will my heart ever stop racing?” but soon enough it did. Right away, I realized that I hadn’t covered all the detail I had hoped to; in addition, I also knew I was a bit squeamish up there so my body language was unnatural. After watching others seem to just flow right on through their talks, it had me wishing I could just hit the redo button and give it another shot. However, knowing myself, negative thoughts after something of this sort seem to always float through my head so I would have to watch the video to truly judge this.

Once I had done this I notice there were a number of things I had done wrong, but also quite a few I did right. As a whole I was looking up and around the class for around 95% of the time and seemed attentive. Also I wasn’t a frozen icicle in the front just rambling off some words. I actually had a bit of body movement and at points tied it in with what I was talking about to express emotion.

Aside from the visual aspects, I seemed to cover all major parts I had hoped. I missed few more details about my family life and my future goals, but in its entirety I had what I could have hoped for. My opener, which I had imagined to be relatively interesting, seemed to have gone unnoticed because I spoke to low. On the other hand, my clincher, I thought was one of the better closing statements. It was quick simple and something, as long as people were paying attention, which could be easily carried out. My thesis during my introduction, even though it did not stand out to much, I thought was a good opener for people to see what I am about and to be used for transition into my first main point. As a whole, transitions between my main points could have used a little extra work but there was never anything to abrupt.

Even though there were a number of things I seemed to have done well in my talk, I would have love to have another shot because there were some major things I would change. For one, my eye contact was not direct enough. I appeared to simply be surveying what I was in front of my while nervously continued to reel out my talk. Next time I would want to make direct contact with certain individuals in the audience to capture their attention. On top of that, next time I will try to speak louder and be more enthusiastic about what I am saying rather than just rambling off my points. If I pretend that everyone is excited to hear what I have to say, who knows, maybe they will be. Also I need to be more familiar with what I am going to say so I can cover more of the supporting evidence as to convey across my point. Lastly, my opener to catch the audience’s attention could definitely use some work. Something that will make them look up and maybe tune in more for what I have to say.

After my first reaction, watching the video was somewhat reassuring in a good way for it being my first speech this year. It was not flawless by any means but it showed me that I can definitely conquer the idea of speaking to a crowd with some work. I was surprised at how low I spoke but this is something easily changeable. Something I have always feared is now a good possibility in the road ahead of me, and I am willing to put the hours needed to be able to make this happen.